Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
