i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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