Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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