I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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