the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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