That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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