You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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