So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
