The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
