We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize