we're blogging at a bar
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
What a dumb baby whore.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
