he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
