just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
