Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you told grandpa to call you daddy
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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