Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
