Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
there was a trapeze. enough said
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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