like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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