There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Your penis caused this!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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