theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
