I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
