so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize