We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
