I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
