I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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