I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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