so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
