brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
