Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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