She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize