Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
