How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
