how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
