she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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