there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
