that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
