She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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