Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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