He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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