I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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