Your mouth is God's brothel.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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