hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
