i think my tv is drunk
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
