Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
