There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I AM VODKA MAN
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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