I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
