i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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