And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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