I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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