I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
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