oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize