hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
