What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
