You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
