Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
