You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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