so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
