I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
