I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
