if i died would you start the facebook group?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
