Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
This girl is more easily done than said...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize