He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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