1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
