I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You've changed since you got that strap on
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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