We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
