White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize