You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
